Fatma Al-Remaihi is a drawer in the virtual world, a graphic designer in "real life." In other words, being in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time.
there are very few department stores in which you can have a comfortable overnight stay in. walmart technically is well supplied for a sleepover, but it’s actual interiority (the germs, messes, depressing tiled flooring, very warehouse-like arrangement) makes it hostile to the intimacy of a slumber party. ikea on the other hand? it’s like being in a series of miniature homes that have been stripped of walls and ceilings. the displays are segmented into rooms, but they’re still ensnared in a wider matrix of observable private spaces from wherever you’re standing. to have an ikea go from “a place to shop” to “a place to stay in” reveals the luxurious comfort of it’s delightfully cluttered landscape. those people who were stuck in that denmark ikea overnight are the only people on this earth who are getting raptured. the rest of us are going to hell.
It took me a while to finally decide to visit tumblr and have it be the space to hold the feelings i am about to unleash. I guess tumblr was my can of worms..!
This year has been tough. It has been tough for me as i am about to complete my 5th year as a caregiver of my mother. 5 lonely and scary years. i used to have many people in my life, people i turn to.. and now i almost have no one.
And the past 12 days have been tougher because i have been fighting or should i say dancing with corona.
Bo Burnhamās āInsideā was hilarious and painful and poignant, and vulnerable. When he talked about being dead for 18 months, my breath caught. I remember saying something similar to my counselor. But you canāt come back, guys. So you just have to keep pushing through. Talk to a doctor, talk about meds. Talk to a therapist, talk about the darkness. Talk to your friends, joke at a time like this. āļø Because thereās so much outside the room.
I realize by now that i only post texts on here when i’m either feeling sad, mad and or lonely.
I am about an hour away from my birthday. Thanks to Mayed for pointing it out all the way from Russia.
I went to the gym today. My first time in over three months. Even though it has not been fourteen days since i took the second dose of the covid-19 vaccine; i contacted the gym and they confirmed that presenting the vaccine card will allow me to enter. I was so excited.
So, my gym bag was prepared the night before, i even prepared two jumping ropes to play with.
You should have seen my smile behind my pink mask, i was super excited even when i had the worst headache ever. I went to say hi to my personal trainer and that is when all the excitement disappeared. She mentioned that she will no longer be able to train clients that she will be promoted to a more of a managerial position.
Of course i will be happy for her if shes happy but i feel like i am in mourning. Again. Mourning the life i once had. My sessions with her have helped me in my journey as a caregiver since 2018. And now i must adjust to a new world.
Oh well, discomfort is a necessary part of growth and evolution. Inshallah i will be okay.
Until we meet again, let’s be good kind and hopeful.
Happy birthday to me (forever drama queen)
I am sitting on the floor attempting to remove the staples off 2 of my old paintings as part of my summer cleaning. Youtube is keeping me company. And suddenly a video of a guy in his living room starts playing. He says he is 32 and he does not have friends. He starts crying and it hit me so hard because i am 34 and i have no friends.
10AM
I remember my mother’s doctor telling me a few years ago that in order to have a good crying session i must not rub my eyes and just allow the tears to flow down and out.
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